Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Audiobooks!

That's right, everyone, my Christmas gift to you all is not one, but two readings of awful fanfiction classics!

First up is Harry Potter Turns to the Lord, where Harry Potter meets a Mary Sue who makes him a Christian! Christmas is for Jesus after all!

Next is Piasa Bird, the prequel to David Gonterman's infamous fanfic American Kitsune. While this one isn't -as- horribly racist as AK is, it still has plenty of Mary Sue-ness and awkward race relation topics. As well as dated '90s references.

Download or stream both at 4shared
Harry Potter Turns to the Lord
Piasa Bird

And read along!
Harry Potter
Piasa Bird

My throat is rebelling against me now, so have a Merry Christmas, everyone!

Christmas Shoes

Christmas Shoes by Anberu Shiruru
Fandom: Twilight

Well, it's Christmas Eve, which means it's time for a horrible Christmas-themed fanfiction!
And not only is this awful fic based on Twilight, it's also based on the worst Christmas song in history, "The Christmas Shoes".
Yes, that "Christmas Shoes".

Since the fic is so short, I'll just post the whole thing here.

Okay this is a story based off the song ‘Christmas Shoes’ by NewSong. If you haven’t heard that song then you need to go listen to it, it will set the mood for the story. But I warn you that if you get emotional over sad stuff that, that song will make you cry, I cry every time I hear it. I know a lot of people do stories to this song, but this one is a little different.

I need to give you some background on Edward’s life cause if I don’t then you will not understand this story at all. Okay first off everybody is human in this. Second Edward is with a guy named Blake, cause you know I have to make Edward gay. Third, they have a three year-old daughter named Ember Rose(I love that name) that they adopted after being together for four years. Okay you have all that?

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Edward Cullen walked into his two bedroom apartment in a daze. It was Christmas eve and he had almost forgot to get his daughter a gift. So he had went to the store that morning, hoping to get the gift and get out. But when he was in the line the weirdest and most touching thing had happened to him. It had brought his Christmas spirit back full force.

Edward shook his head and went to go look for his boyfriend and his daughter. He searched the whole house and found them sitting in front of the fire, eating cookies and milk. Edward smiled at his family and went to go sit with them.

“Hey,” Edward said as he sat down and gave his boyfriend, Blake, a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at his daughter as she flew into his lap with a squeal of “Daddy.”

“Hey sweetheart, how are you?” He smiled as he planted a kiss on her head of auburn hair.

“Hi, daddy. Look we made cookies. They have sprinkles and are shaped like Christmas trees. They taste good, do you want one? Papa helped me make them, but I did most of the work. Please eat one, daddy,” Edward smiled amusedly at Blake as his daughter talked a mile a minute. He looked down at the colorful cookies and took one with a smile.

“Mmm, their good, Ember. You make good cookies,” He said, laughing as his daughter giggled in his lap.

“I know I do daddy,” Ember said smugly. Edward laughed outright at the smirk his daughter was wearing. For being three years old, their daughter was to smart for her own good.

“Hey do you want to hear a story?” He asked. He knew she would want to hear it. She was not able to read yet, so she had him reading to her and telling her stories all the time.

“YES,” She squealed, jumping up and down in his lap.

“Okay, Okay calm down I’ll tell you,” He laughed. He leaned up against his boyfriend and started his story.

“Okay, this is a true story. It happened to me in the store this morning and I wanted to tell you about it. Okay so, It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line. Trying to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas right in front of me, was a little boy waiting anxiously. Pacing round like little boys do and in his hands he held, a pair of shoes.”

“His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe. And when it came his time to pay I couldn't believe what I heard him say,” Edward lowered his head, tears already forming in his green eyes.

“Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please. It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size. Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time, you see, she's been sick for quite a while and I know these shoes would make her smile. And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight,” Edward raised his head to see tears forming in Blake’s and his daughters young eyes.

“He counted pennies for what seemed like years, then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here." He searched his pockets frantically, then he turned and he looked at me. He said, Mama made Christmas good at our house though most years she just did without. Tell me Sir, what am I going to do, somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes,” Edward wiped the tears from Ember’s eyes as Blake tightened his hold on him.

“So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out. I'll never forget the look on his face when he said Mama's gonna look so great. Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size. Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time. You see, she's been sick for quite a while and I know these shoes would make her smile, and I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight.”

“I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love, as he thanked me and ran out. I knew that God had sent that little boy, to remind me just what Christmas is all about,” And with that all three of them broke down into sobs, praying that, that little boy got those shoes to his mom in time. Ember grabbed onto her daddy and cried, thankful that both of her daddies were with her this Christmas.

Edward didn’t say anything else, he just laid back with his boyfriend and daughter and they all fell asleep by the fire.

The next morning found Blake reading the newspaper, waiting for his daughter to get dressed so they could open the presents. He turned the pages and accidentally came across the obituaries. He came across one that made him spit out his coffee and tears fill his eyes faster than they ever had. It said:

Emily Maxwell

January 17, 1973- December 25, 2008

Emily Maxwell was a wonderful mother and wife to her husband, Ethan Maxwell and her son, Adam Maxwell. She will be missed terribly, and her memory will be cherished by all. She died last night a couple hours after their family opened their presents. The present she got from her son was a pair of red velvet Christmas shoes, that she will be buried with. The son Adam Maxwell would like to send out thanks to a man named Edward Cullen, that helped him buy the shoes. He said that those shoes were just what his Momma wanted.

Blake smiled and whispered “Merry Christmas Adam.”

I’ve never actually written an obituary so that’s probably not right, but I wanted it to say all that, so please don’t send me flames about how I didn’t write it right. I have only seen parts of the movie Christmas Shoes, so I don’t remember the child’s or the mother’s name, so I made all the names up.

This is my readers Christmas present a little early, cause I won’t have a computer on Christmas day to post this, so MERRY CHRISTMAS! R&R

P.S. I know this fanfic is kinda shitty, I don’t want flames on how badly this was written, I was in a hurry to get this finished so its not my best!

Well, at least the author knows it's shit.
Merry Christmas, everyone!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Einstein Who's he?

Einstein Who's he? by ILIKENICK
Fandom: Family Matters

I have no idea what's going on in this fanfic. All I know is that it's Stephan/Eddie and there's MPreg. Yeah.
Since it's just one chapter long, I'll post the whole thing.

Name of story:Einstien?Who's he?

Chapter rating:T

Chapter name:Prologue

Nobody's POV

"Uh,Stefan,no,I can't do,ahhh,keep doing that,no,not right now ,ahh,yeah,no,not right now!"Edward Winslow begged his lover of one year.

"But,Eddie,when will be the next time we do this?Come on,really,eddie,when's the last time we did this?"Stefan asked his lover,kissing him soundly on the lips.

"Uh,I can't remember,but,what if we get caught?Laura is gonna freak,and I don't want her to be mad at me when I'm supposed to be the driver for her and five other friends to one of the most unheard of places there's ever would be one tense drive and you know I can't have that much tension with being eight weeks gone and ,and my mom almost caught on to my being was talking about what we should have for christmas dinner and she got really detailed and it made me so sick I passed out for three hours.I-"

"Oh my gosh,baby,are you okay?"Stefan asked his lover,worried expression evident as he stroked Eddie's cheek,looking into the man's eyes as if he was trying to reach into his soul.

"Yeah,I'm fine but I still feel a little weak but it's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?I mean,I can take you to a doctor-"

"Yeah but if you do that,mom's gonna wanna know why and you know we can't out ourselves now.I just want you to hold don't we just say we're going out for the day,just say it's boy's day and just go to a motel and just stay the day,relax,have fun,do what we want ya know?I just want you to hold me for today,okay?I had a fight with waldo and he got me in the shoulder and I was really scared and I just want to be held,ya know?"

"Yeah,I 's go.I can't wait."Stefan said,pulling his lover up and doing up his pants before walking out of the room,dropping Eddie's hand as they went down the stairs.

"Ah,,Eddie and I have decided to have a boy's will be spending the night in a motel and will be back before dinner tomorrow."Stefan told Eddie's mother,sitting in the chair and grabbing a book,looking it over and tossing it back on the table.

"Okay,but I want you to be back before lunch,okay?We're gonna have ham,patatoe salad,green beans,black eyed peas,and for desert,hot fudge sundays-"

"Oh god!"Eddie said before lunging towards the bathroom,tripping over the leg of the table and landing on his stomach.

"Eddie,baby,are you okay?"Stefan asked,rushing over to Edward before realizing what he said.

"So my suspicions were right,you are haven't you told me yet?I would've understood."Harriet asked,helping her son up and going to get a rag to clean him up.

"Well,we were gonna tell you at christmas."Stefan said,sitting down and pulling Eddie in his lap,wiping the back of his neck with the rag Harriet had brought out.

"You're pregnant,aren't you."It was more of a statement than a question but Eddie answered.

"Eight doctor said the morning sickness would last for a couple more months judging by the also said that I should try and take it easy,try to relax more than normal."Eddie said,leaning into his lover's touch,relaxing fully into the warmth that he felt so safe in.

"Well,maybe you should go on now,I'll clean up here and tell everybody about boy's day .Bye baby,have a good time and just relax,okay."Harriet waved the boys goodbye and then went to cleaning the floor.

Once they got to the motel,they got a room and set about stripping to there boxers and getting in the bed,relaxing and falling into a deeply needed before they could fall asleep,the soft exchange of words made both of them smile lazily:"I love you."

Well,how was it?I don't know if there's any slash pairing such as this.I just hope it was well written.I know I haven't updated What's mine is yours in forever but this just came to me,ya know? Oh,please tell me how it was and please,I'm open for any ideas on the next chapter for What's mine is .Oh,this is going to be a chapter story and Steve was somehow stuck as Stefan and this is a world where male pregnancy is capable but some people still aren't comfortable with homosexuality,though.

Sincerely,
ILIKENICK

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaah. This made no sense. At all. Also, there's spaces after commas, FYI.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Back to You (audiobook!)

Back to You by All Hallows eve baby
Fandom: Halloween

Guess what, everyone! It's an audio reading! Read by me, Franzie von Karma! Isn't that awesome!?

Download it at my 4shared account here.
Also remember that 4shared has MP3 streaming. Don't want to download it? Just have a listen!

And, because the holiday season is upon us, I've included one more audiobook as a bonus!
It's a reading of the classic Artemis's Lover that I did months ago when I wanted to do a line of readings for "erotic" fanfics called Night Mode. I have no idea if I'm still going to do it, but I don't want to let this reading go to waste. Download Artemis's Lover here!

But wait, there's more! You can also read along with these lovely readings!

Back to You
Artemis's Lover

Have fun!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Natalie's Perverse Secret (NWS!!)

Okay, taking a break from the Freddy Kruger-raping, let's do something worse. Much worse.

Natalie's Perverse Secret by Patentleather1
Fandom: Natalie Portman

Ah, yes, the joys of real life fic. None of it is creepy at all, no.
So, let's begin with the introduction:

Hello everyone. I have finally written about a sexual fantasy of mine that I have had for quite a while on the very beautiful and sexy Natalie Portman. I think Natalie Portman is a goddess and she is the hottest girl ever. This is a fantasy of mine about her in a fictional story where I am dating Natalie Portman, where I get to act out all my fantasies and fetishes with her. The story does include pedophile content so I must say up front that I do not approve the practice of involving real children for sexual purposes, it is only fantasy in written form and should never be practiced in real life. I must also say up front that this story does not in anyway reflect the sexual orientation or practices of Ms. Portman or myself. It is just fantasy for the sake of entertainment. Although I must say that I do wish like hell that I was dating Natalie Portman.


...Aspergers much? Oh, yeah, that's right, there's pedo crap in this story. Literally.
Okay, so, our author here introduces us to his girlfriend, Natalie Portman (in case you forgot her name already).

My name is Adam and I must say that I am the luckiest guy in the world, for I have as my girlfriend the goddess Natalie Portman, the female star of the Star Wars prequels. We started dating a few months ago and she is madly in love with me. I must say that years before we started dating I have had a major crush on Ms. Portman, and have fantasized about many romantic occasions with her, and also sexual ones where when I masturbate I would have the most intense orgasms with my thoughts on making love to her.


Get used to this writing style. Just wait until we get to the dialog.

Natalie Portman and I met at the premier of Star Wars Episode 2 in May of 2002, and I still remember the first time I saw her in person, and the sexy cloths she was wearing. She was the one who broke the ice with me for I was to dumbfound to even talk to her, like a boy in junior high with a crush on a girl. She took notice to the fact that I was a big sci-fi fan, and since she was never a fan or knows anything about sci-fi she wanted to get to know me more to see what the world was like for a die hard sci-fi fan like myself.


Ah, yes, every nerds' fantasy.

After the premiere we went out to get a coffee and we really hit it off. Our causal relationship soon turned into a dating relationship, and within the next few months we were in a serious relationship. Our dates went from going to get coffee or McDonalds to going to fancy romantic restaurants. Because of the kind of dates we were going on I knew she was turning into my girlfriend. The physical aspects of our relationship were slow. I was anxious because if you can believe this I am still practically a virgin and quick and ready to have sex. Natalie Portman is a virgin to, only I did not know it at that time.


*snort*

For with me it is because I do not do so well with the ladies, and with her she is so busy with her acting career.


...I'm pretty sure busy actors and actresses can make time for sex, but well, sheltered nerds and all.

Within the first month of dating she would let me hold her hands. It was not until the second month that we kissed for the first time. By the third month we were french kissing, and by the fourth month we were making out on a regular basis. By the fifth month she was ready to have sex with me for the first time.


This should be a chart or something.

I remember the first I had sex with Natalie Portman. We were both dressed in semi-formal wear for a date. I had on casual pants and a dress sweater with a sports jacket, and Natalie had on a very sexy red party dress with black silk stockings and a pair of very sexy 4-inch heels. When we came home that evening we made out on the sofa as we kissed and french kissed passionately that Natalie finally made the move on me. In the midst of our make out session she grabbed my hands and put them to her breast. I felt up her breast through the fabric of her dress. Then on impulse she sat me back and then with her and unzipped my pants. I was so caught up in the moment that I felt completely mesmerized and did not resist her in the slightest. Then she reached underneath my underwear and pulled my raging hard on cock out of my pants. Then she started to stroke up and down on my shaft with her hands, and oh man did it feel great. I masturbated several times and had great orgasm, but it never felt the same way ash she was jerking me off. Well her hand job did not last long for she knelt down and put my cock in her mouth. I felt like I was in heaven, for here my favorite girl in the whole world was giving me my very first blowjob. I felt sensations like I never did before as I saw Natalie's head bop up and down on my raging hard cock, feeling the intense sucking as she strived to take the whole length of my cock down her throat. After several thrilling minutes of her giving me a blowjob and I could not take it any more and grabbed the back of her hair gently to give her a signal to let her know I was about to come. She just continued to suck hard on my cock expressing she wanted to swallow. Then I exploded into orgasm and shot what I felt like gallons of white sticky cum in her mouth and then she pulled her mouth off my cock and swallowed my love juice.


...Dude, are you sure Natalie's a virgin?

Then Natalie told me it was my turn for me to please her. She started to take off her red party dress only to reveal that that she was wearing only a black thong along with the black silk stockings and 4-inch heels. She pulled her thong down off her legs, only to reveal to me the cutest snatch I have ever seen. I have seen many pussies over the years through porn mags and videos, but I never saw one as such as sexy and cute as hers.


It was so cute, it had Hello Kitty tattooed on it.

I first licked her labia and then I spread her labia wide open, and then I began to lick deep into her cunt. I found her cunt hole but it was still closed by her unbroken hymen, which revealed to me that she was still a virgin, her self.

Quoth Wikipedia:
The hymen is a fold of mucous membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia.[1][2][3] Despite this, it is not possible to confirm that a woman is a virgin by examining her hymen.

So, we get more details on their first time and it's so perfect and wonderful and no awkwardness of any kind.

Over the next several weeks and month Natalie and I fucked like rabbits. We fucked at least once a day, as she gave me blowjobs, and I ate out her pussy. When we actually fucked one another we did it in the missionary position but also other positions as well. We tried doggie style, her on top of me, me on top of her, us lying beside one another, me on a chair with her on top, me standing up and holding her while I fuck her, and even cowboy style. Yes I fucked Natalie in every position we could think of, and we did it all the time. We did it every evening and even a lot of morning we would do quickies when we would get ready for work, as I would pull my cock out of my zipper and she would hick up her skirt or dress and we would fuck really quick before we left for work. When we left for work after we fucked it was hard separating us for our deep and passionate kisses. After several months of hot passionate sex, and even though it never got boring, we decided to try out other sexual things to spice up our love life. By do this we agreed to reveal to one another each of our secret fantasies and fetishes and fulfill them in one another. I agreed with her that after she made known a secret fantasy of hers to me and I fulfill it then I could do the same to her.

Yeah, we get it, you like to screw Natalie Portman. Sheesh.

Natalie's first fantasy she revealed to me is that she can cum sometimes just by manipulating her breast. So her fetish is that she fantasizes of a person nursing on her breast and sucking milk out of her breast as she gets off on it and cums from it. So she took off her shirt and she was not wearing a bra underneath it. Her breast are small, and I know that some guys are into big breast but I am not. Natalie's breast are perfect, for they are very perky and her nipples stick right out. She then sat on the couch and I lay down next to her and put my head over her lap. She then grabbed my head and pulled it to her right breast, and I open my mouth to receive her perky nipple into my mouth. I begin to suck on her nipple as if I were a baby breast-feeding. I could tell she was getting horny and excited because her breathing got heavier and heavier and then she began to moan loader and loader. Soon I was able to extract milk from her breast and I began to drink her milk. Just then she was able to bring herself to orgasm and she came. After I finished breast-feeding from her right tit I pulled my mouth off her tit and noticed a wet spot on the crotch area of her jeans where she had cum.


Trust me, it gets worse.

Then Natalie asked me what my fantasy of mine that I wanted fulfilled by her. I held my breath with nervousness and then revealed to her my shiny patent leather mary-jane shoe fetish that I never told anyone about until her. I told her that I have a major fetish for girls shiny dress patent leather mary-jane shoes, that I must have a thing for schoolgirls and the schoolgirl look along with shiny schoolgirl shoes. There is nothing I love more than to see a girl wearing shiny dress shoes, for I think that the shininess of the leather of girls dress shoes makes me go sexually crazy.


Yes, he gets turned on by shoes.

Well Natalie held her end of the bargain and the next day she went shopping. When she came home she revealed to me that she bought a schoolgirl uniform that included a white silk blouse and a plaid skirt, white nylon tights, and the best thing of all she bought the sexiest pair of shiny and glossy black patent leather mary-jane 3-inch pumps with buckle and strap. When I saw the cloths and shoes she bought I went immediate crazy with sexual lust. She wasted no time going into her room and getting dressed up in the schoolgirl uniform that she bought along with the white nylon tights and the patent leather mary-jane pumps.


Yeah, we get it, she had on nylons and mary-janes.

Natalie went over to the couch and sat down on it. She called me over to her, then had me kneel down to her feet. She lifted up her right foot until the shiny patent leather pump was right in front of her face. She commanded me to worship her shoe, to which I was glad to. I stuck out my tongue and began to lick all over that shiny glossy shoe, first starting from the toe, then all around the shoe, then all over the heels, and then finally I even licked over the shiny strap that held the shoe onto her foot. After I was finished with her right shoe I did the same exact thing to her left shoe. I just love the sensation of my tongue running all over that slipper slick leather, and by this time my cock was throbbing for a release, and Natalie knew it.


But wait, there's more!

She had her feet in such a way that both shoes were rubbing up against my rock hard cock at the same time. The shiny and glossiness of her patent leather mary-janes made the shoes slippery and they easily slid up and down the shaft and head of my cock. This gave my cock just as good of stimulation as it would be in Natalie's mouth or cunt hole. It took no time for me to cum, and when I exploded into orgasm it felt like a waterfall explosion and it looked to be about gallons of hot white sticky sperm ejaculated out of my cock and shooting onto her new shiny patent leather mary-janes. Soon her new glossy mary-jane pumps were completely soaked and drenched in my sticky white juices. Natalie then reached down to her feet and unbuckled her shoes, and then she took them off and pulled them up to her face so she could lick all of my white cum off of her shoes. While she was licking all my white sperm off of her shoes I quickly grabbed her feet that still had on the white nylon tights, and I pout them up to my face and began to smell her stinky feet. When she saw this she responded.


And now we get to the priceless, robotic, Asperger-fueled dialog!

Natalie: I see that you have more than just a patent leather mary-jane shoe fetish. For you seem to be getting yourself sexually off by smelling my stinky feet.

Adam: Yes I think you are right. I not only have a fetish for girls who wear shiny patent leather mary-jane shoes, along with the schoolgirl uniform; I get obsessed with girls feet. Always wandering what they smell like.

Natalie: But doesn't the stinky smell of my feet turn you off?

Adam: It should, and on anyone else it would, but your feet could stink to high heaven and I still would be turned on. Yes the smell of your stinky feet turn me on.

Natalie: Ok then smell away and get yourself off as you please.

And so, Adam smells away.

And that is exactly what I did, while she cleaned off the rest of my white sticky sperm off her shoes with her mouth and tongue, and swallowed it, I continued to smell her feet until the odor from her feet caused me to have another orgasm. Natalie was so shocked and amazed that not only would I love to smell her stinky feet, but that I was able to have an orgasm from it. I told her it was sort of like when I sucked her nipple and breastfed and she climaxed from that. Then she understood and let me fulfill my fetish at any time I wanted to. On a regular basis I would lick her shiny black patent leather mary-jane pumps after she wore them for the day, and then I rubbed them against my rock hard cock until I ejaculated my load onto her shoes over and over again, When she was not around I pulled those shiny mary-janes out of her closet and masturbate to them. I even smelled her stinky feet inside her shoes, which was enough to get me off and make me cum. Almost every day when she came home from work she relaxed on the couch, and figuring that her feet would be the stinkiest after a whole day of her feet were not aloud to breath from being in a pair of shoes, she would take off her shoes and let me smell her stinky feet. It got me sexually excited every time she let me do that, but sometimes I would orgasm from it and other times I would not. I guess it depends on the mood I was in and how horny I was at the time when she let me smell her feet.


I'm not sure how I would feel if my boyfriend started masturbating to my shoes when I wasn't around.

It was Natalie's turn for her to share another one of her fantasies with me and for me to fulfill it, and when I asked her what it was she replied.

Natalie: Not only have I always wanted to experience a guy fucking me in my cunt I have always fantasized what it would be like for a guy to take me from behind and penetrate me in my asshole.

Adam: So you are interested in anal sex?

Natalie: Yes I definitely am. I want you to fuck me in the ass. I want you to lick my anus and then ram your cock in my rectum!

Adam: Oh WoW a girl who is into anal sex. That is my fantasy as well. I lam also obsessed with girl's assholes and have fantasized about doing a girl in her ass

Natalie: So I see that not only do you have a fetish for girls shiny patent leather shoes, and her stinky feet, but you also have a fetish for their stinky assholes?

Adam: You got that right!

Natalie: Ok then lets stop talking and cornhole me.


BEEP BOOP NATALIE-BOT CRAVES ANAL SEX BEEP WHIRR

So, then we get a lovely detailed account of Adam having anal sex with Natalie. Afterwards:

Adam: Well Natalie did you enjoy that?

Natalie: Oh yes I definitely did! I love getting fucked up my asshole just as much, if not

more than getting fucked up in my pussy. How about you? Did you like the smell and

taste of my asshole, and did you like having your cock buried deep in my anus? How do

you compare it with normal intercourse with your cock in my cunt hole?

Adam: Oh I loved it just as much if not more than having my cock in your cunt hole. I

definitely love the stinky smell of your asshole, and the taste of your anus. I especially loved the way your sphincter squeezed down on my cock so when I came it made it all the more intense. Thanks Natalie for being my girlfriend and giving me such great sexual pleasure!

Natalie: No problem Adam the pleasure is all mine. I love having you as my boyfriend and experimenting with all the sexual acts. I want to continue.

And so, it gets even worse.

I gave Natalie's a turn to reveal another secret fantasy and for me to fulfill it. She said that she wanted to take things up a notch and try bathroom games. She wanted to strip completely naked, then get into the bathtub and have me urinate on her. So I said I would do it. We took of the shirts off that we were still wearing, which then we were completely naked from head to toe since we were naked from our waist down. I still loved looking at Natalie's small perky tits with the nipples sticking strait out. For that started to get me hard again. Natalie led me up to the bathroom, and then she lay down in the tub. She asked me if I need to go pee, and when I said to her that I do not need to go now she told me to turn on the water in the sink and stare at it. I did so as she requested and after a few minutes at watching the running water I had to go, and I had to go bad. Then she told me to come over to her in the bathtub and point my cock at her and pee on her. I did as she requested and pee started to flood out of me like it was the Niagara Falls. I pissed yellow pee all over her body, while she was masturbating herself by rubbing her clit. I aimed my cock at her tits and pussy directly and pissed yellow pee all over her perky tits and pussy while she continued to masturbate herself. Before I could finish off my pee she grabbed my cock while I was still peeing like a racehorse and she aimed my cock directly at her open mouth. Then I pissed a boatload of hot yellow piss in her mouth. I filled her mouth with piss to the point that it was overflowing and the excess pee ran down her mouth and onto her chin and shoulders. After I finished peeing she had a mouth full of my hot yellow piss and she drank all my pee that was in her mouth. After she finished swallowing all my pee she was able to reach another orgasm as she masturbated her clit, and when she came her girl cum came out of her and mixed with my piss, and oh let me tell you quite a smell that was. It turned both of us on!

Jesus. H. Christ.

After she came down form her explosive orgasm, and I recovered form my long massive piss, Natalie got out of the bath tub and asked me what I would like to do next, since it was my turn to reveal another fantasy of mine. So I told her that I wanted to continue our bathroom games but push the envelope a little farther. I said to her that I have had fantasies where girls would shit on me and I play around in their shit. She found it no surprise since I do love girl's stinky feet and their stinky assholes. So she beat me to the question of asking her for the request for her to take a shit on me. So she agreed but she said that she did not need to poop at this time. So she went over to the medicine cabinet and got out some laxative and she ate it and said it would take a few minutes to kick in. In the mean time she came over to me and we kissed passionately while still completely in the nude. I could smell the sour odor and taste the tangy taste of my piss that was still in her mouth as I kissed her and french kissed her. Then after a few minutes of passionate kissing we felt her bowels kicked in and she needed to take major poop. Then she had me lie down on the bathroom floor, and then she squatted over me. I felt the nervousness and anticipation of having her shit on me, and having the whole bathroom stink for her nasty feces. Then as she squatted over me she pulled her ass cheeks apart only to reveal to me her tight pink puckered anus again. Then she asked me if I was ready and then I confirmed with her that I was. All I could see then was that she pushed like she was having a baby. And then she let out a big nasty fart and then her sphincter opened up and then a big thick long brown turd of shit came out of her anus and landed on my chest. She had more shit to go but she stopped at that point so she get up from squatting and then kneels down besides me. Then she smeared her stinky brown feces all over my chest, legs, arms, shoulders, and finally my face. The bathroom stunk so bad form her shit that Natalie was holding her nose with one hand while she was smearing the shit all over my body with the other. She was so amazed at how turned on I was, even in spite of the foul odor. After she covered my body from head to toe in her nasty brown feces she got up off the floor only to squatted over me again so she can take another shit on me and empty her bowels which were still full of her own feces. But this time I directed her ass over to my face and aimed her asshole right over my mouth, then she asked if I was sure I wanted to eat her nasty shit. When I confirmed with her that I definitely wanted to she then pushed again like she was having a baby and her sphincter opened up again and I saw another nasty long think brown turd of shit come out of her anus and into my mouth. When she was finished getting the major turd of shit out of her bowels she shit some more, but it was loose shit that even turned into a little diarrhea, which either went in and filled my mouth or completely covered my face in nasty and stinky brown solid and liquid feces.

...Why?

After Natalie completely empties her bowels she farted a couple more times and then got up from squatting over my face. She just sat there with a look on her face that of discussed but also extremely horny. She sat there and watched me go to town feasting on her nasty and stinky brown shit. She watched with her hand over her nose and the other hand masturbating her clit. Then I went to town eating and feasting on Natalie Portman's nasty and stinky brown feces. While I was eating her shit Natalie took her hand away from her nose to embrace the nasty and stinky smell that flooded the bathroom. Then she took a hand full of own her shit and then went down to my cock and began rubbing her shit all over my extremely rock hard on and used her own shit as a lubricant to masturbate me with. As I chewed and swallowed her nasty shit that was in my mouth Natalie continued to rub my rock hard cock with her own shit as she continued to rub her own clit. Soon I was finished eating her brown solid nasty stinky shit and now I was drinking the rest of her loose diarrhea. After that the both of us were ready for an orgasm, and Natalie timing it right caused us both to climax at the same time. She shot her girl cum all over her clean hand that she was masturbating her clit with, and at the same exact time I ejaculated a boat load of white sticky cum out of my cock. My white sperm shot all over the place, but mainly landed on my body which mixed with the brown stinky shit that completely covered my body. After we both climaxed with both got into the shower at the same time and took a shower together. She washed off the my nasty yellow pee stains that was on her body and face, and in her mouth, and I washed off all of her nasty brown stinky shit stains that was completely covering my body and face, and in my mouth. As we washed each other's bodies clean we made out my kissing and french kissing passionately. Soon we were both clean and smelling fresh again after our shower together. Then we got into casual cloths and sat there on the couch snuggling and cuddling together while we reflected on the nasty and perverse bathroom sex acts. That we just performed.


WHY!?

Just when I thought that we had done the worst, and the nastiest sex act a couple could possibly engage in I was about to get the surprise of my life time when Natalie revealed to me her next fantasy. As we sat on the couch cuddling together I told her it was her turn to reveal yet another one of her fantasies and for me to fulfill it. At that time she was getting very nervous because since I asked her to do my nastiest fantasy of having her shit on me and for me to eat her shit, she was ready to reveal to me her nastiest and extremely perverse fantasy. But I could tell that she was nervous and tried to ask her about it.

Adam: What is wrong Natalie. You know whatever nasty fantasy you have I will

understand and try to fulfill it.

Natalie: I do not know Adam. You might not go for this one for it is a social taboo as well. I have to at least tell you up front that I think I am bisexual and I also have fantasies of girls.

Adam: Well no problem there is nothing socially wrong about being bi. For I must admit I have had fantasies of you with other girls like your costar Ashley Judd whom you played along with in the movie "Where the Heart Is." After I have seen that movie I have fantasized you and Ashley doing nasty lesbian sex together. Also when I saw your movie that you stared in called "Anywhere from Hear" and saw that Thora Birch had a cameo I fantasize you two doing it together. And when I saw Star Wars Episode 2 the chick who played the young Beru, Bonnie Piesse, I fantasized you two doing nasty lesbian sex together.

Natalie: Wow I never new you had those kinds of lesbian fantasies of me before. But I guess it come as no surprise since must guys get off on lesbians. Oh well I might as well tell you. In additions to have lesbian fantasies I also have pedophile fantasies.

Adam: WHAT!!!!

Natalie: Yes it is true, but it is specified. I do not like little boys but only little girls. So I guess you can say I have lesbian pedophile fantasies.

Adam: Well how young do you like them?

Natalie: I have had sexual fantasies of being with little girls as young as 7 years of age.

Adam: WoW, how long have you been attracted to little girls and known that you have lesbian pedophile tendencies?

Natalie: Oh I guess since I started puberty and started menstruating and getting interested in sex. I think I was 13 year sold when I starred to notice little girls and come up with sexual fantasies of me molesting them and having lesbian sex with them.

Adam: WoW, I will be understanding of course, and your secret is safe with me. I especially should be understanding since as you know I have a fetish for schoolgirls and have even had fantasies of being with little girls as young as 9 years of age.

Natalie: Wow, I had no idea that you like little girls as well. It seems that we share another sexual fetish and fantasy together.

Adam: I do not know how I will be able to fulfill this fantasy but give me a few days think about it.

Natalie: Ok but if you cannot come up with something I will understand, especially fulfilling that fantasy is a social taboo and can cause you to go to jail and for me to loose my acting career.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY!?

Well I gave it a few days and just when I was about to give up on thinking on how to fulfill this fantasy of hers a thought came into my mind. I just came up with the perfect idea Natalie to fulfill her fantasy. My baby sister is about to get remarried. Up to the point of her meeting her fiancée she was a single mother of a very cute and pretty 7 year old little girl. My niece's name is Veronica, and she is a lovely little 7-year-old girl who has long strait blond hair and blue eyes. She would be the perfect match for Natalie to make pedophilia love with. I also came up with the perfect plan to make it a reality. Since my sister is getting married she asked Natalie and myself to be in the wedding party. We accepted and her fiancée asked me to be the best man, and my sister Jennifer asked Natalie to be one of her bridesmaids. This excited Jennifer because she was going to have a celebrity be one of her bridesmaids. Jennifer was going to have her daughter Veronica be the flower girl. Well the plan was that I called my sister and told her to cancel the babysitter for Veronica for the weekend she was going to be away on her honeymoon with her new husband. I told Jennifer that Natalie and I would watch her and she would be safe. My sister agreed and thanked me because she would not have to pay a sitter now. Well my plan was now in full swing.

Oh. My. God.
To summarize the horrors that follow: Adam and Natalie have graphic sex with a 7-year-old girl.

It goes on for ten paragraphs.

And so, our story concludes:

Natalie: Adam I think it is time that we get married. Are you interested?

Adam: Yes I kind of am, but why now? We are living together, our relationship is going great, and we have great sex together? So why would you want to get married?

Natalie: Well for one thing I that since we have shared our most intimate and perverse sexual interest, like your scat and shoe fetish, and my pedophilia fantasies, I think it is time that we tie the not. Plus I wan to get pregnant and have m very one little girls so I can have sex lesbian mother and daughter incestuous sex with her when ever I want, and you can have strait father and daughter incestuous sex with her when ever you want. Plus we could always have a threesome already in our own house and in our own family. We will give a new meaning of keeping it in the family.

Adam: Ok then lets get married!

I could tell by the look on her face that she was excited about my accepting of her proposal, and so then we made plans to get married. All I could do the is think what life would be like if and when we do ever have that daughter that Natalie wants. But right now I do not care for I will be marring my favorite sex goddess in the whole world who is the sexy actress Natalie Portman.

The End!

What. The. Fuck.
This story makes me want to die. It manages to be one of the most repulsive, disgusting stories. Almost as bad as Agony in Pink. I hope the guy that wrote this feels ashamed of himself for thinking up this piece of garbage.