Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sleep

Sleep by KagomeMiroku
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3629311/1/Sleep [2010 Update: Link is dead.]

So, I was going to do a Hey Arnold slasher fanfic, but I had some formatting trouble.
ANYWAY!

Sleep is a melodramatic songfic. A very melodramatic songfic. It also has some weird pairings.
Kaiba/Mai?
Jonouchi/Isis?
Mokuba/Shizuka?
Marik/OC?

Yeah, I wonder when Mokuba and Shizuka got together, since Shizuka is a teenager and Mokuba is, like, 9.

Anyway, the story starts with Kaiba yelling at his lisping son:

"What did I tell you! Stop bugging me!" I hollered.

"Daddy, pwease list..."

"NO! Go to your room!" I shouted.

The little boy that stood in front of me began to cry. Out of his big brown eyes tears raced down his face. My only son, cried, he was upset right in front of me and all I could do is holler! Jon ran down the hall to his room. I just sat on the couch.

"You know how he gets, Seto!" my wife shouted and raced down the hall to my son's room. "Jonny. Sweetie, it's mommy. Open up." she demanded without any sound of anger in her voice. It was calm and peaceful, ready to give open arms to our son.

But he wouldn't answer her.

"Jon? Please open this door." she more firmly spoke.

Still no reply.

Finally, she ran into our room and grabbed a bobby-pin. She placed the pin inside the door and unlocked it. I shot up from my possition at the sound of her scream. I ran into Jon's room, to find it empty (other than my wife) with the curtains of his bedroom widow blowing everywhere, the screen thrown onto the floor cut open, the glass part was all the way open.

I ran to the window and looked out. My wife, Mai, was almost crying at the loss. I hugged her, but she pulled away.

"It's all your fault." she blamed me. "It's all your fault. If you never hollered at him, maybe he'd be still happy and with us! Get out!" she hollered.

"But, Mai..."

"OUT!" she pointed to the door rubbing her eyes.

UH OH!!
So, Kaiba wanders around town, emoing about his son. What about calling the police, Kaiba!?
Oh, wait, I know why. "Screw the cops, I have money."

Everywhere he swore he had seen Jon. "Daddy!" Jon screamed running towards him. Seto couldn't believe his eyes. He ran towards his son and embraced him, but once he had reached the arms of his son, he dissapeard.

"No!" he shouted, tears running down his face.

Uh huh...
Next, we cut to Yugi and Anzu (the only plausible couple in this story):

Yugi Moto, walked inside his house in California. His wife sat on the couch, she was crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"Yugi, I lost the baby." the wife replied.

Yuig stared at her wide-eyed and rushed to her side.

"No you didn't. She's still right there in your stomach!" Yugi worriedly hollered.

The wife began crying, and Yugi hugged her. "Maybe it's not gone, have faith." he told her.

Wait, is she still pregnant? Is Yugi in denial? Fuck, I don't know.
Then, Mokuba sees Shizuka cheating on him!!!

It was a misunderstanding.' Mokuba thought to himself. 'There not together.' he kept repeating in his mind after seeing his wife kissing her old best friend.

"Mokuba!"

His wife came out.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"You know perfectly well!" Mokuba actually screamed.

His wife tried to stand and look innocent

I don't blame her for cheating, since he's 9 years old and all.

Seto walked past a water fountain and sat on its edge. His elbows on his knees, and his hands on both sides of his face. He looked up for a brief moment and saw someone he knew.

"Ishizu?" he asked.

The woman turned around with a tear-stained face.

"What happened?" Seto asked.

"Joey and me are over." she replied.

The woman took a seat on Seto's right and cried onto his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked.

"He never honestly loved me. It was a dare." she told him then asked, "Why are you here? Is something wrong with you and Mai?"

Why Jonouchi and Isis!? What's the point!?

Marik and Rebecca both sat on the couch crying, "My baby!" Rebecca cried onto Marik's shoulder.

Marik looked down at her and cried as well.

"I'll never see my baby again!" she cried some more.

"Olivia." Marik whispered the name of his now dead daughter.

A boy around fifteen years old walked in also crying. He walked over to his parents and was pulled into a family hug.

ahahahahahahahahahaha. I love the idea of Marik as a family man. But, I thought he was a wife-batterer (See: Wishes Never Come True).

"Serenity, I can't believe you." Mokuba scolded her, looking away from her.

"But Mokie..."

"No. No 'but Mokie'. Not anymore." he cried, his new glasses fogged up and were filled with tears.

I think I have a new favorite fanfic quote.
Well, as it turns out, the whole fanfic was a dream! Yay lazy endings!

"It was only a dream..." I breathed and walked into Jon's room.

He was sound asleep.

I smiled and went over to the side of his bed, "I love you buddy."

"I wuv you too Daddy." Jon yawned, without opening his eyes.

I kissed the top of his head and went back to my room where Mai was slowly waking up.

"What's wrong, Seto?" she asked.

"Nothing, babe." I assured her and kissed the top of her head. "Not anymore."

The Verdict
This fanfic is certainly not as good as Days of Our Lives. I mean, DoOL has Snake Plissken (okay, it's really some guy that looks like him). 1/5

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Story Description Special: Yu-Gi-Oh

Most of the time, the story descriptions on fanfiction.net are really damn horrible. Just as bad as the stories themselves.

This is the first part in a series, starting with Yu-Gi-Oh.

Life's not easy for Bakura, a cursed kitten alone in the world where the weak are shunned. However, things turn around when his reincarnation Ryou invites the kitten into his home, and his life. He has no idea what he's getting himself into...

Tee hee, Bakura-kun's a kawaii little KITTY!!!!!! ^________^

Serenity wants to have a boyfriend and starts to cut herself and she wants her brother to understand her choice. Seto is cutting and planning to commit suicide and wants Mokuba to understand why. Will it be too late or will an unlikely event happen. R&R

What the fuck is it with fangirls and cutting!? Well, at least this one's blunt about it. WARNING: THIS FIC HAS CUTTING R&R

I'm rewriting the YuGiOh series the way it should have been! This will be YamixYugi and perhaps SetoxJoey if you people want it but it will be YamixYugi no matter what! Full summart inside 'cause I suck at short ones... ON HIATUS!

As I mentioned in the last entry (My Immortal), it's one of the rudest things in the world saying that an established story would be "much better if I wrote it". Yeah, YGO would be soooooooooo much better if all the male characters were gay and had lots and lots of sex.
I have no problem with yaoi in fanfiction, as long as the fanfic author doesn't act like "THIS IS HOW CANON SHOULD HAVE BEEN".

The miko is at it again with another of her mutilations, um I mean adaptations. This time it's one of the awesome and classic sci-fi film Blade Runner. Die hard Blade Runner fans STAY AWAY! You have been warned.

Okay, I admit, I haven't watched Blade Runner yet (shocking, I know). But, I'm sure most BR fans wouldn't appreciate their fandom being retold with YGO characters. I know I wouldn't.

Yami has been abuse by his parents in many ways, no kid should expierence but still do. Tea is a sweet innocent girl, that comes to his care, when he's beaten up. Seto,a rich teenager, and is Tea's 3year boyfriends. A love Triangle forms.Love? hate? Trust

Here's another common fanfic cliche: A character with nice parents in canon is horribly abused by them in fanfics. I guess this is the fangirl version of writing mean songs about their dads.

Usagi Kinmoto is an Egyptian girl with many secrets. Many of them, she didn’t know she had. Having died and reincarnated twice already, can Usagi fulfill her destiny? Will the third time be the charm, or will she reincarnate again?

Uh, does anyone know anyone from Egypt with a Japanese name? Didn't think so.

Cloud Strife still longs to defeat Sephiroth, but after seeing his rival in his dreams, darkness slowly takes over his heart. Will he learn to turn back to the light, or will Sephiroth convince him to stay in the shadows?

The description makes it seem like it's a FFVII fic only. I was going to report it was in the wrong section until I saw that it's actually a FFVII/YGO crossover. Jesus H. Christ, it's not hard to say it's a crossover in the description!

Shizuka catched Seto cheating on her.. Song is by MY CHEMCIAL ROMANCE and I DO NOT OWN YUGIOH!

The word is caught and My Chemical Romance is shit.

After a vampire comes into Yugi's room late at night and kidnaps him. Can he break the cold heart of the vampire or forever be torture by him. If he does then what will happen if his father gets to him and escapes. Can the vampire save him or will he die

Another fangirl staple: vampires. No matter what genre the fandom is in, there has to be a fanfic with vampires and yaoi.

Okay, that's enough for now.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

My Immortal

My Immortal by gaara13313
Fandom: Death Note
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4227226/1/My_Immortal

Like YGO fangirls, Death Note fangirls tend to be horrible people.

As the title says, this is a songfic based on the Evanescense song. You know, the one we've heard a million times and has been used in a million other songfics. Fuck you, Evanescense and your Mall Goth fanclub. And Amy Lee sounds like an opera reject.

*ahem*

So, MI starts off with another Author's Note (tm)!
"Disclaimers: I do not own the song nor the anime. If I did own the anime, then it would be a MA-rated film with L and Light uh…… you get the idea……. I don’t own the song either. If I did, then I would be able to sing soprano, not tenor. Got it?"

Fanfic tip #4: Disclaimers are a-ok. But, it's immature and rude to say what you would do with your fandom if it was yours. I wouldn't like it if people would tell me what they would do to my original story if they wrote it and neither would you.

"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Light looked down at a picture he had of Ryuuzaki. He knew that it was for Ryuuzaki’s own good that he was dead, but somewhere, deep inside Light’s heart, he regretted killing the detective. Never had Light had such a close friend, never before had Light been so happy being with someone. At first, they started out friends, but then Light’s feelings started to develop into so much more. Light knew that if he lingered onto the past any longer, he would be caught as Kira, but he just… couldn’t move on. Losing a loved one had that much of an impact on him. Kira was unsettled. And regretful."

Oh, god, Ryuu-kun! Why did I kill you!? WHY!? *licks L's picture*

"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

A single tear. That was all Light had shown at Ryuuzaki’s funeral, and that surprised many of his friends. However, they did not know what truly went on in Light’s head. Every night, before he would sleep, Light’s sobs could be heard echoing throughout his house. His parents and sister were worried, but Light refused to see a physiatrist. He claimed that “they would never understand his feelings.” Even now, after so long…. His pillows would be tear-stained in the morning and his eyes would be constantly red and puffy."

I never heard of a "physiatrist" before. Is it like a physiologist for your mind?

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Light bowed his head as he placed a bouquet of roses on Ryuuzaki’s grave. “Ryuuzaki…. do you remember when you came to me crying because Matsuda had knocked all your sweets off the table?” He whispered. Light could still remember that day with so much clarity. Ryuuzaki had buried his head on Light’s shoulder and Light could still remember wrapping his arms around the detective and hugging him. Then, Light had wiped Ryuuzaki’s tears away and went out with him to buy a strawberry shortcake from a nearby bakery. When Ryuuzaki was eating it, a small bit of icing remained on the side of his mouth. That was their first kiss."

Matsuda's such a meanie-face, right Ryuu-kun? Oh god, I want to lick the sugar off your mouth again, baby. *licks L's picture again*

"You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

“Light-kun? Light-kun!” Light shook his head as he was startled out of his reverie.

“I’m sorry, Ryuuzaki-kun, did you say something?” Light asked. He had been so captivated by Ryuuzaki’s voice that he wasn’t paying any attention to the actual words coming out of the raven head’s mouth. Ryuuzaki sighed.

“What’s wrong, Light? You usually aren’t like this?” Ryuuzaki wrapped his thin arms around Light’s neck.

“It’s nothing, Ryuuzaki.” Light murmured, after pressing his lips briefly on Ryuuzaki’s.

“Damn!” Light threw the Death Note across the room. If he hadn’t gone and killed Ryuuzaki, they could be happy together now. Light could have given up possession of the notebook, and he could be living with Ryuuzaki now. Light sat up in bed, panting. It was 3 o’clock in the morning and the light of the sun was beginning to penetrate the dark sky. Light laid back in bed, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. “Another one of those nightmares…” Light whispered to himself, burying his head into his pillow. Every night, the dream of Ryuuzaki’s death would haunt Light. Everywhere Light went, he could hear Ryuuzaki’s voice. It was maddening."

I-I bought you an engagement ring, baby. Oh, Ryuu-kun! Marry me! I don't care what they think! I'll make you happy! Our wedding cake will be pure sugar! Just for you! RYUU-KUN!!!

"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Light brought the cold blade to his wrist. The physical pain made Light forget about the mental and emotional pain. This was the only method in relieving himself that did not include committing suicide. No. Light would not take his own life. He knew that he could never be with Ryuuzaki again. Just that thought made Light want to die. But he couldn’t…. wouldn’t… take his life. Even in death, they could never be together."

It just wouldn't be an Evanescense songfic without cutting.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Light pressed his lips to Ryuuzaki’s neck. When he came back up, he noticed tears in Ryuuzaki’s eyes. “What’s the matter, love?” Light asked.

“Will this hurt?” Ryuuzaki whimpered. Light licked the tears away.

“I’ll lessen the pain as much as possible.” Light whispered, before kissing his boyfriend deeply. That was the night where they lost both their virginities to each other."

...moving on...

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all alone

As Light lay there on the wooden stairs, he still heard Ryuuzaki’s voice whispering into his ear. “Soon, we’ll meet again, Light.” Light shook his head.

“No, Ryuuzaki. Never. I cannot go to heaven or hell. They are both forbidden to me. I’m sorry.” With those words, Light Yagami took his last breath, alone, and died."

Hear that? That's the canon breaking.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

The Yagami family stood over Light’s grave. “Light… Ryuuzaki…” They left violets on each of the graves, and left after saying goodbye to Light. They were moving, and this would be the last time they would ever see anything to do with Light.

Two months later, a lone boy with white hair and white pajamas on would visit the graves of Light and Ryuuzaki and he would notice a red bush growing out from the soil. The branches were entwined with each other and the leaves were all pointing upwards toward heaven. “Light…. Ryuuzaki… the red fern….” The pajama-clad boy’s eyes would grow wide as he looked upon the plant that was said to only be able to be planted by an angel. “I see you two are happy together in heaven…”"

Fangirl Christianity at work again!


The Verdict

Cutting, Evanescense, Canon-Breakage. Three of the many fangirl sins. 0/5